Monday, September 12, 2011

The Storm Before the Calm

This is my dining room table....kind of hard to tell, huh?
I want to keep this blog a place of truth....and the truth is we are in the middle of making our dining room a happier place. The truth is life is sometimes messy before it's cleaned up.
We live in a new house that is about 75% complete. This means I have no 'real' flooring. Of course I do have a floor but it is the sub floor
and it makes Mama cranky.
When I get cranky about my house not being done it lasts anywhere from a few minutes to a full day but at some point I start thinking about how incredibly blessed I am and how amazing it is to live in your dream house. I think about people who don't even dream a dream this big. I think about our little sponsor daughter Fate in Ethiopia and how she sometimes doesn't have enough food and how her father just up and left her and her mother. I think about people who live 30 miles from us and just lost everything they owned in a flood. I think about any number of scenarios that help me to switch over to gratitude and drop the 'woe is me' routine. That whole thing is just so ridiculous.

Tonight I am tired. I had to go to a football game and I hate football.
I'm cold and I hate being cold.
We have to put our precious dog to sleep.
When all I really want to do is push rewind on our precious companion.
My oldest son leaves for the Army in 4 weeks.
I love my country but not so much I want to sign up the life I have spent two decades trying to protect.
Especially in such uncertain times.
My oldest daughter is applying to a college in NYC
and plans to leave in January.
I fear that I am not really a grown up but just playing pretend.
I want to let my hair go gray but afraid that I will look like Lilly's Grandmother.
Plus, my husband says he doesn't think he would be attracted to me anymore.
At first I was crushed then I realized it rattles his sense of how old he thinks we are.
They say gray is the new blonde. I'm not convinced.
The jury is still out for now.

I thought you might like a little serving of truth today and to see the current state of affairs in the dining room so you can anticipate the 'after' pictures.

1 comment:

  1. You are a truthteller and this is a great big giant gift to the world. Plus, you are an awesome writer so it's like Christmas and then some.